Once Upon a Time 1.20: "The Stranger"

After teasing August's relationship with Mr. Gold in the previous episode, this installment of Once Upon a Time reveals his true Fairy Tale Land identity -- I think I was perhaps the last fan in the world in denial about the signs pointing towards Pinocchio. *wink* What I love about this episode, though, is how it encapsulates the show at its finest -- where it makes us really care about these characters, reminding us of their hopes, pains, losses, and fears, speaking to the universality and timelessness of the source material -- these fairy tales resonate through the centuries because at their essence they speak to the human experience. I love how this show took a character and a story I'd never particularly liked and throughout the hour bring me to the point of tears as the script traces August's journey and speaks to the love of a parent for their child, and vice-versa.

The episode opens with August (Eion Bailey) installing a new deadbolt in Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and Mary Margaret's (Ginnifer Goodwin) apartment, one that should keep their home safe from Regina's (Lana Parrilla) all-access skeleton keys. While he's finishing the job, Emma receives an emergency call from Henry (Jared Gilmore) to meet him at Granny's Diner -- he has a major "Operation Cobra" update. With the clock ticking on August's health, he attempts to take Mr. Gold's "advice" and convince Emma that the curse is real, as she is his best shot at breaking the curse and loosing the magic he needs to survive. But Emma has no time for handsome, enigmatic writers -- since her declaration of war against Regina for custody of Henry, she's consumed with the need to get her son away from the mayor and her machinations to destroy anyone who threatens her power. Foiled in his desire for one-on-one time with Emma, August calls Mr. Gold for an appointment to discuss the issue of Emma's recalcitrance. As soon as he hangs up the phone he doubles over in pain, grabbing one leg -- and when he rolls up his pants leg, there's no doubt as to his Fairy Tale identity -- the limb is solid wood, and we have our Pinocchio (far from a little wooden boy now, hmm?? *wink*).

Meanwhile Emma arrives at the diner and is a bit non-plussed when she realizes Henry just wants to discuss his book of fairy tales -- he's discovered that someone has added a story to it, a story that's been left strangely unfinished. The story is Pinocchio's tale, and now August's actions from way back in episode thirteen are finally brought full circle -- when he was seen rebinding Henry's book, he was including his own story, the ending yet to be written. The story flashes to Fairy Tale Land, where Geppetto (Tony Amendola) and the young wooden Pinocchio (Jakob Davies) are clinging desperately to their raft on storm-ravaged seas, while Monstro the Whale is attempting to swallow them (WHALES CREEP ME OUT!!). Since they only have one life vest, Geppetto attempts to give it to his wooden son, but the boy sacrifices himself by claiming he'll float and jumps overboard. When Geppetto later awakens on the beach, the vest over his arm, he realizes Pinocchio saved him -- and his pride and relief are quickly dashed when he discovers the lifeless wooden body farther down the beach. Cue the entrance of the Blue Fairy (Keegan Connor Tracy), who REALLY needs a better name, who transforms the puppet into an ADORABLE LITTLE KID, admonishing him that as long as he remains "brave, true, and unselfish" he won't revert to wooden lifelessness.

Back in Storybrooke, August arrives at Mr. Gold's (Robert Carlyle) shop for their meeting, and his shocked to discover Marco, a.k.a. Geppetto, at the counter accepting a commission to fix a clock. Leave it to the wily Gold to arrange the chance meeting between father and son...such a passive-aggressive way of signalling to August that he always has the upper hand. After Marco's departure, August regroups and asks Gold to "steer" Emma his direction, since he knows she plans to ask Gold for legal advice against Regina. Gold agrees, and when Emma comes to see him later that day she's shocked to hear him actually turn DOWN the chance to beat Regina at something -- so she storms off to find August.

Since Mary Margaret's release from prison, Regina's carefully-crafted facade of control and power have started to crack. Case in point: her first encounter with her would-be victim when she goes school to drop off Henry's forgotten lunchbox. The whole wrongfully-accused thing has put some of Snow's steel in Mary Margaret's spine, and she refuses to cow before Regina, actually going so far as to tell her that she forgives and pities her -- you have to think the pity comment stung, to say the least! Henry follows suit by openly defying Regina's desire to see him transferred from Mary Margaret's classroom -- correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the first time Henry really lets loose on his adoptive mother, and you can see that it stings. Thus far I've had little sympathy for Regina, but this scene suggests that she really wants to love Henry -- but being who she is, she doesn't know how, and of course there's the question of if she's even capable of true, selfless, sacrificial love.

Regina's day just goes from bad to worse when her car dies -- conveniently in front of David's workplace and full of groceries in danger of spoiling. David (Josh Dallas), ever the gallant, offers her a ride home, and when they arrive she finds a note stating Henry won't be home for dinner -- so of course would David like to stay? This exchange is interesting, because clearly Regina staged the whole encounter in a desperate bid to supplant Mary Margaret in David's affections (the camera reveals Henry's "note" to be blank). She plays the lonely single mom card TO THE HILT, reliving the moment she found the him comatose on the side of the road -- THEY SEEM TO BE BONDING!! But just when she goes for a kiss David pulls back and plays the "we should just be friends line." There's a small part of Regina that I think really hoped to make a connection with David, but with her once iron grip weakening over the citizens of Storybrooke, she's finally reaping what she's sown -- the curse blocks her ability to love, to make actual, meaningful connections with people because she traded love for power.

Back in Fairy Tale Land, the Blue Fairy brings news of Regina's impending curse to Geppetto and Pinocchio (I have got to say, rewatching this episode I was struck afresh by the hilarity that people had so much time to "prepare" for Regina to cast her spell...). She wants Geppetto to carve a protective vessel from the last magic tree that will keep Snow's as-yet-unborn child, the Savior, safe -- the only hope for those who stand against Regina's machinations. Blue tells Geppetto, Pinocchio, and Jiminy (Raphael Sbarge) that the enchanted tree possesses enough magic to keep two people safe -- she's of course thinking of Charming and the pregnant Snow (I haven't rewatched the pilot -- doesn't she state the tree can only hold one in the premiere? whatevs...). But Geppetto is playing hardball, and refuses to craft the vessel unless his son is one of the two individuals transported to safety.

But this plan goes all to heck when Snow goes into labor early, right as the smoke monster curse is covering the land. And here is where Geppetto makes a call that changes everything for Emma and his son -- defying the Blue Fairy's orders that Snow and her baby enter the wardrobe, he withholds his knowledge of the tree's magical limitations and hides his son inside, leaving Charming and Snow with the assumption that the tree will only hold their baby. While I TOTALLY GET Geppetto's passion to save his son, the fact remains that he is trusting a SMALL CHILD who STARTED LIFE AS A FRIGGIN' BLOCK OF WOOD with the care of an infant. Even if Pinocchio hadn't started life as a TREE, that responsibility would be a heavy burden for one so young to carry -- especially one rather famous for fibbing. (Jumping ahead to season two for a second -- I have to wonder if there is going to be any repercussions against Geppetto when/if it is revealed that he is responsible for sending Emma to Maine, alone and defenseless?)

Cut to Emma and August, where they pull up outside a little diner -- a seemingly innocuous scene that enrages Emma. It turns out she was found by the side of the road at this very location, and she thinks August is messing with her when he reveals that he was the child in the news report who found her. Now this is something Emma can perhaps believe, even though it leaves her rattled -- but August goes all in, explaining how they were both sent to main through a tree (the scene showing their arrival, and August's Pinocchio clothes, really left me wondering what people made of him when he was found!), and how he was tasked with protecting her because the whole town is depending on her to break the curse. Of course Emma thinks the whole tree transport thing is rubbish, but August's story finally gets her to admit the thing she is most afraid of -- having people depend on her. BROKE MY HEART.

A final flashback to the young Pinocchio and Emma reveals how they were separated as children -- Pinocchio makes the choice to leave the orphanage with several other children, leaving Emma to fend for herself. Bailey really plays the adult August's guilt over failing his commission to "protect the Savior" extraordinarily well -- if Pinocchio is a character whose Achilles' heel was never taking responsibility for his actions, this storyline has the adult version paying for that shortcoming tenfold. Once August shares their collective history, he then pulls up his pant leg to show Emma the proof he's sure she can't deny -- his wooden leg. But he's completely disheartened when Emma just thinks he's even nuttier since her denial is so strongly rooted in her fears of connection and abandonment issues that she can't see his physical proof.

The final scenes, where August returns to Storybrooke, resigned to his imminent death, are heart-breaking. He goes to visit his father, and without admitting to their connection for fear of being rejected, he volunteers to help around the shop because he just wants to "fix things." The short talk between father and son brought tears to my eyes, especially when Marco assuages August's guilt over failing to protect Emma and raise her with the knowledge of her destiny, by stating something along the lines of that no matter what his son had or hadn't done, he would still love him -- and then Eion Bailey RIPPED MY HEART OUT with his SOULFUL EYES. I may or may not have screamed at the television JUST HUG YOUR DADDY ALREADY, DANGIT!!

But while August reaching the end of his proverbial rope has prompted him to reach out to his father, Emma swings in the other direction and takes more drastic action. Calling an emergency meeting with Henry in the middle of the night, she meets him outside in her car and asks if he wants to be with her -- and when he says yes, she hits the gas pedal and heads for the city limits. Oh Emma, kidnapping is not the way to go!

Thoughts on this episode? I think it was one of the most emotionally powerful, well-crafted hours of the first season.

Once Upon a Time 1.19: "The Return"

I can hardly believe that I haven't done a Once Upon a Time episode review since April. APRIL! I am such a bad little television blogger. :-P Without further ado let's dive into episode 19, a nicely Mr. Gold-centric story featuring the tantalizing title "The Return."

For much of August W. Booth's (Eion Bailey) tenure on Once, I was pulling for his fairy tale identity to be that of Rumple's long-lost son, Baelfire (first introduced in "Desperate Souls"). With season two under way, I think it's probably alright if I go ahead and acknowledge that August's fairy tale identity is Pinocchio  a long-held season one rumor that I denied to the end (since that film has never been a favorite of mine, and I thought August was too handsome and deliciously enigmatic to be A Wooden Boy (*wink* oh, those subtle clues with initials!). But now that  the mystery has been resolved, here I'll try to touch on how the writers kept the suspense going throughout this fantastic episode.

Right at the opening we see August laying in his room at Granny's, writhing in apparent severe pain. He barely manages to make it to the phone where he places a call, cryptically urging the person on the other end of the line to "accelerate the plan." Clearly, the clock is ticking for my favorite motorcycle, leather-wearing mystery of a writer. In short order it is revealed that August called a meeting with Henry (Jared Gilmore), who really rather idolizes him since he's the only adult who believes the curse exists. While Henry enters Mr. Gold's shop, ostensibly to purchase a gift for Mary Margaret, August sneaks in through the back door and begins scouring the shelves of Gold's office, clearly looking for something specific. His search is interrupted by Mr. Gold, who orders him out, but not before there is a tense moment that reads like possible recognition between the two men -- is there a connection? what could it be? Well played, writers, well played.

Meanwhile Emma (Jennifer Morrison) heads to the hospital to interview the not dead yet Kathryn (Anastasia Griffith). Poor woman has no idea who took her or where she's been, only that she was chained in a dark basement, fed, and then inexplicably freed. I was rather relieved that she thought it was ridiculous that Mary Margaret would want to kill her (I was afraid the show might go down that road, relieved when they chose instead to move on), especially since she had come to the realization that her marriage was over and left David her "blessing" (which Regina conveniently BURNED). Dr. Whale (David Anders) is attending during this exchange, and interestingly enough at one point they share a look seeming to suggest that they both share an idea of who would want Mary Margaret framed for murder. I am DYING to know Whale's fairy tale identity, especially since earlier in the season his appearances seemed to suggest he might be Regina's ally, while the season two opener is a 180-degree turn in the opposite direction. (Side note: Wasn't David's visit with Kathryn kinda sweet? I liked that it showed his compassionate side, without suggesting that he YET AGAIN wants to maintain the farce of a marriage that he doesn't know is a CURSE.)

Things get REALLY interesting when Regina (Lana Parrilla) visits Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle) and angrily accuses him of reneging on their deal to frame Mary Margaret for murder. Seeing Regina lose it like this, admitting she's such an evil witch, that was a sweet moment. And nevermind that Mr. Gold is not exactly a hero, because I LOVE HIM, and watching him rattle Regina's cage, is indescribably satisfying. She's made what could be a fatal error in assuming that Gold was on her side, since he created the curse at her behest -- but as we've seen thus far in the season, Gold never has less than six possible reasons for doing anything (ha!). Gold's almost off-hand comment that he only broke one deal in his life and that it wasn't Regina's is the segway into Fairy Tale Land where we see Baelfire (Dylan Schmid) playing with a ball. When the boy is nearly hit by a donkey cart, he hurts his leg (which immediately made me think that HERE was the confirmation I'd been wanting that August was Bael! sneaky writers...) -- and when Rumple sees the wound, he uses his dark magic to transform the driver of the cart into a snail which he then squashes, to the horror of his son and the townspeople.

It's fascinating to watch the relatively newly-minted "dark one" interact with his beloved son. At this point Rumple is pretty far gone, but not so far that he isn't wounded, or at the very least peeved when his son repeatedly rebuffs his powers. Rumple has latched onto the idea that his magic can make him a better father, when all Bael wants is the gentle man Rumple once was, one who doesn't drive away all his friends because they're afraid he'll kill them if they beat Bael in a game of tag. Bael manages to extract a promise from his father -- if he can find a way for Rumple to lose his powers without endangering either of them, will he give up power and magic for a peaceful, average life with his son? Rumple agrees, the type of yes that might be extracted from a harried parent who is just humoring their offspring. But apparently Bael isn't Rumple's son for nothing, because he takes this challenge and runs with it.

A young girl who isn't as put off by Rumple's fearsome magic as most children Bael's age suggests that Bael seek out "Ruel ghorm," a magic more ancient than that of the Dark One that transformed Rumple. One evening Bael sneaks into the woods, determined to call this ancient power to him -- and who shows up but the Blue Fairy (Keegan Connor Tracy). WHERE the writers came up with "Ruel gorm" as code for fairy magic is beyond me, but whatevs. :-P She tells Bael that the only way to save his father is to send him someplace without magic, a world that would neutralize his powers. Similar to how we saw Belle awaken a spark of warmth and humanity in the wily trickster, at this point Bael is the only person keeping Rumple's humanity alive, keeping the dark magic from utterly consuming him. She gives him a magic bean (this lends credence to the idea that Bael is the show's "Jack and the Beanstalk" character) and wishes him luck.

At this point, let's catch up on the Storybrooke action. The townspeople have thrown an impromptu getting out of jail party for Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin), who is a bit peeved that she suddenly has TONS of friends. :-P During the party, August drops the cryptic remark to Henry that he thinks what he's looking for will find him. Shortly after that Jennifer sends Henry home with a bereft David (Josh Dallas) to avoid an awkward conversation with Mary Margaret, she confronts Gold with her suspicion that he's responsible for Kathryn's reappearance. I love how he's all "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D ASK ME THAT." :-P He's more interested in her opinion of August (I love how she describes him as "a typewriter wrapped in an enigma wrapped in stubble"!). Later a pensive Mr. Gold picks the lock to August's room and searches through his things -- and under a carved donkey figure, he finds a piece of paper with a drawing of a knife identical to the Fairy Tale Land relic that denotes his status as the Dark One. It was only after it was confirmed that August wasn't Bael that I remembered the donkey figure, and how those animals featured in the Pinocchio film. Well played once again, writers. I love how you keep messing with my mind, seeming to hint by Gold's visit to the "fairy" convent, and August's questions about his father, that you're taking the story one direction when in fact you've quite a different path in store for a character.

The thing (okay, one of MANY things) that makes Gold such a fantastic character are the many possibilities the show keeps meting out, possibilities suggesting that Gold isn't beyond redemption, that he hasn't fallen so far that he can't find his own happy ending one day. And given Carlyle's acting in this episode (he KILLED it) I so desperately want to see that play out. Seeing the feared Mr. Gold humble himself enough to go to Archie's office for counseling was a stroke of genius. Archie (Raphael Sbarge) played the delicate balance between fear and professionalism really well, and I loved seeing him recognize, however briefly, that for all his notoriety Mr. Gold is a man burdened by heartache.

Back in Fairy Tale Land, Baelfire takes his skeptical father into the woods, thrilled with the idea of imminent restoration for his little family. Planting the magic bean in the ground, a magical whirlpool opens, slowly dragging Bael and Rumple into its vortex -- and its at this point that Rumple starts to FREAK OUT and makes the decision to break his deal with the one closest to him -- his own son. Using his knife he clings to the side of the whirling earth-vortex and lets Bael go. Once the earth closes, he's immediately overcome with grief and remorse -- but seeing as he is the Dark One, his heart may (sorta) be in the right place but his methods are *ahem* questionable. 

In Storybrooke, Gold has followed August into the woods where he's gone to Gold's cabin, searching for something. Gold broaches the elephant in the room topic, and August doesn't deny it, calling Gold "Papa." And at that point, Gold melts. In rewatching this episode, I can't help but imagine where the show might've gone if Gold's son had been restored to him this early in the game. I realize for dramatic purposes that probably wouldn't be a great idea, but it just killed me seeing all of the hope and raw emotion Carlyle poured into the next few scenes. Gold pours out his heart, telling "Bae" he'd never given up searching for him -- and then the other shoe drops, as August asks for the knife as proof that Gold is truly reformed. And once he gets it, he attempts to call on the Dark One -- the one thing Gold knows his son would never do. 

That pivot, where Gold's all-too-brief joy was replaced by rage is just heart-wrenching. The Storybrooke scenes, where he urges the dying and desperately in need of magic August to push Emma harder to believe -- a task that up to this point has proved distinctly unrewarding, but interestingly enough Gold comments that if August can get Emma to believe him, he may "get" something out of August's death that he wouldn't if he'd simply killed him outright. In Fairy Tale Land, following Bael's disappearance, Rumple calls on the Blue Fairy to reappear. Rumple is ENRAGED, determined to do anything to regain his son, even if that means sacrificing the entire world. While the Blue Fairy seems to believe that type of magic is beyond even the Dark One, Rumple keeps yelling "I will find him" -- and I only realized after rewatching that episode for this post how that declaration eerily echoes Charming's promise to always find Snow. Two lost loves, one pure, one bent on destruction -- both hearts bruised by loss, determined to find the missing pieces.

While August and Mr. Gold OWNED this episode, there are a few other scenes that bear mentioning. First of all, there's David and Mary Margaret's first meeting following her release from jail. Mary Margaret's palpable heartache at David's betrayal, his refusal to believe in her innocence when all the evidence pointed otherwise is crushing. And David's grief, his palpable desire to make it up to her (his TEARS! Dallas can cry really, really well) BROKE MY HEART. Also, Emma's meeting with Sidney Glass (Giancarlo Esposito), where she confronts him with the bug as proof of his complicity with Regina's schemes -- that was a lot of fun. And the concluding scene, where Regina's convinced him to take the rap for Kathryn's kidnapping was pretty contrived -- but worked as well as anything to write the Glass character off the show (since he'd been cast in Revolution - he was my least favorite character, so it isn't a great loss IMO). But the icing on the proverbial cake was Emma's declaration of war on Regina, her promise that she would get her son back, no matter what it took -- that moment made me cheer. Long time coming Emma, long time coming.

Once Upon a Time 1.18: "The Stable Boy"

Well, well -- Once Upon a Time finally proved that once upon a time the Evil Queen really did have a heart, apparently. "The Stable Boy" finally delivered on the season-long promise to reveal exactly why the Queen hates Snow so much. And while overall I feel like this was a pretty solid episode, I've got to say the reason behind the Queen's grudge left me a bit underwhelmed. So let's discuss. :)

The episode opens with the caption "one week earlier," so apparently all of the Storybrooke action since episode thirteen, when Kathryn disappeared, has taken place in roughly a week's time. A lot can happen in a week here, hmm? :) Apparently before all of the Kathryn shenanigans happened, Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle) met with Regina (Lana Parrilla) to cut a deal to get him out of the whole battery case he's facing in court (I kinda forgot about that, honestly). So it was his idea that planted the plan in Regina's mind for Mary Margaret to take the blame for Kathryn's disappearance/murder -- and then if a key was planted in her cell and she escaped, she'd be vaporized or something for trying to leave Storybrooke (of course that didn't turn out exactly as planned, hmm?). It boggles my mind that Regina thinks Gold is actually on her side here, because given everything we've seen this season there's going to be another side to this whole mess -- because there is most definitely no love lost between Rumple and the Queen.

Cut to Fairy Tale Land, and a younger Regina (she wears COLOR and wears here hair DOWN!) is riding her horse bareback over several jumps, having a grand ol' time as her father (Tony Perez) looks proudly on until her mother turns up, and goodness is she a buzzkill. Cora (Barbara Hershey) is a stage mother of the worst order, determined to groom her daughter to make a brilliant marriage, and if that means crushing Regina's dreams and individuality, well so be it. To Regina's credit she tries to stand up to her mother, but that only results in becoming the helpless victim of her mother's magic (which in all fairness would be rather disturbing). A couple of things here -- 1) Was there ever a time when Regina's father wasn't so SPINELESS? Seriously the guy gets on my nerves, and clearly previous episodes have proved that he is SUCH AN ENABLER when it comes to his daughter's schemes. I suppose that could be out of guilt for marrying Crazy Cora? 2) I hope the show revisits this Cora issue to show us how she became so consumed with power, since the script implies that she used to be somewhat normal... 3) Saw the stable boy love story coming a mile away -- but I loved it. If a teenage Regina (how old do we think Regina is supposed to be in the FTL scenes -- late teens, early 20s at the most?) was going to fall in love with a servant she chose an adorable one in Daniel (Noah Bean). :)

In present-day Storybrooke, David (Josh Dallas) has realized that maybe, just maybe casting aspersions on Mary Margaret's (Ginnifer Goodwin) innocence was not his most brilliant move, but the damage has been done as Emma (Jennifer Morrison) informs him that she wants no visitors, i.e. him. At the Sheriff's Station Mary Margaret wakes up to the CREEPTASTIC discovery that Regina was watching her sleep, and to her puzzlement the woman starts to tip her hand, going on and on about how she'll finally be rid of Mary Margaret for good. Cut to FTL, where Regina is having a romantic moment with Daniel, who to his credit wants their relationship out in the open but Regina fears a magical reprisal from her mother. Daniel is all TRUE LOVE FOR THE WIN, but before we can see how Regina responds a terrified girl on a runaway horse dashes by, and Regina rides to the rescue. The girl is, of course, a young Snow White (Bailee Madison), all of ten years old and clearly in awe of her rescuer. Side note: How is Madison NOT RELATED to Goodwin? Not only is their resemblance remarkably similar, but Madison just nails Goodwin's facial expressions and mannerisms. AMAZING bit of casting there...

Back to Storybrooke, and Gold/Regina discussion about ruining Mary Margaret begins to bear fruit. Mr. Gold wants his client to agree to a pre-trial interview with the prosecution, because this is supposed to reinforce the idea that she isn't a killer -- somebody tell me, is there a lot of precedence for this? Because I'm inclined to agree with Emma, the point of an interview like this seems to distinctly favor the prosecution and not the defendant. But whatevs, a law expert I most definitely am not! :P The weaselly Sidney (Giancarlo Esposito) shows up with some flowers (???) on the pretext of telling Emma he's found nothing incriminating against Regina -- we haven't seen them interact in a while but apparently she's still trusting him (SILLY GIRL). Regina then shows up with Spencer, the District Attorney, and we all know this is gonna be a train wreck because Spencer's fairy tale alter-ego is the maniacal King George (Alan Dale). During the interview Spencer is, of course, able to goad Mary Margaret into a passionate and damning admission that she wanted Kathryn gone -- and at this point I'm thinking Mr. Gold is the WORST FRIGGIN' ATTORNEY IN THE WORLD. *sigh*

Back in FTL things are really starting to go south for Regina and her stable boy boyfriend. She's horrified to learn that the girl she saved from the runaway horse is King Leopold's (Richard Schiff) daughter, and apparently her kindness has made him decide that they need to marry ASAP. Leopold has never struck me as the brightest of monarchs and this decision only reinforces that perception. *rollseyes* One heroic moment does not a good stepmother make, hmm?! Anyways, Regina is properly shocked so her MOTHER accepts the king's proposal (and he doesn't think that is weird...this guy has a terminal case of Too Stupid to Live), and then she has a proper freakout and decides she and Daniel must run away ASAP. (Side note: LOVED Regina's dress in this scene, I am a sucker for a good princess-y ball gown!) He is of course properly honorable and proposes, giving her a ring and everything (so it's a brass ring from a saddle, it's the thought that counts, right?). BUT SNOW OVERHEARS EVERYTHING, and is naturally upset because she was all into the idea of her rescuer being her new mom -- until Regina appeals to her romantic heart and extracts a promise from her that she'll tell no one her secret, because she and Daniel must run away since no one, especially her mother, will understand the depth of their love.

But Snow has a weakness, and that is missing her mother -- perfectly understandable, particularly in a young child. So when Cora starts to ask questions about Snow's friendship with Regina, who can blame the girl for wanting to believe Cora's professed good intentions? SHE'S A KID, seriously of COURSE she's going to get played by a master manipulator like Cora. And this is where I really start to question Regina's sanity, because this whole Evil Queen/Snow White grudge match came about BECAUSE A FLIPPING TEN-YEAR-OLD couldn't keep a promise? I mean REALLY REGINA. If we're going to be angry at people let's at least direct said anger at the appropriate target(s)...

In Storybrooke, Emma is quite disheartened over how bleak things are looking for Mary Margaret -- I mean things are SO BAD she's reading Henry's storybook! August (Eion Bailey) shows up to give her a pep talk about looking at the case from a new perspective (and for the record, his face is a pep talk all its own, just sayin'!). He offers to help out and really, like Emma's gonna say no to a motorcycle ride (*wink*), so they return to the spot by the toll bridge where the human heart was discovered. All of a sudden August can't walk right and starts complaining of shin splints (he's gotta be Pinocchio, right?!), but all of that is forgotten when Emma finds the piece of a broken shovel in the dirt. So whoever owns this shovel must be the culprit, right? Later Henry (Jared Gilmore) keeps a lookout while they search Regina's garage, and NO SURPRISE there's a broken shovel. Of course they can't act until Emma has a warrant -- and in that short amount of time Regina's broken shovel has been replaced, the evidence gone. Emma's only thought (and a perfectly reasonable one at that) is that she's been betrayed by August, who insists he hasn't betrayed her and that he's not lying. Between the lying thing and the shin splints...HE HAS TO BE PINOCCHIO, RIGHT?!

Of course there's still a possible connection to Rumple/Rumple's son, since the preview for next week's episode reveals that maybe, just maybe, August is in Storybrooke to try and kill Mr. Gold. Now, this could either be in revenge for some act Rumple committed in FTL, or...OR...is it possible that, given how horrified Rumple Jr. was by his father's transformation into "the Dark One" that he tries to knock him off for some reason?? I'm not willing to let go of the possibility quite yet that August could be Rumple's son, since the IMDB reveals that the title for next week's episode is "The Return" with this summary: "What happened to Baelfire, Rumplestiltskin's son, after he ran away is revealed, on the day his father became The Dark One." LET THE THEORIES COMMENCE! :)

Back in FTL, now that Cora weaselled the truth about Regina's plans out of Snow, she confronts the lovers just as they're preparing to flee. For one brief moment Cora seems to acquiesce to her daughter's deepest wish, but that was only to allow her to get close enough to Daniel to RIP HIS HEART OUT OF HIS CHEST AND CRUSH IT TO DUST. This is, admittedly, horrific, but HOW THE HECK DOES THIS TRANSLATE TO HATING A TEN YEAR OLD GIRL?! This in no way mitigages Regina's actions, to my thinking at any rate -- YES, she was obviously mentally and emotionally abused but blaming Snow for her mother's actions and manipulation is a cop-out. I'm still waiting for Graham's death to be avenged!!! Yes Once writers, I AM STILL UPSET ABOUT THAT! *whew* And anyways, in Storybrooke when Regina's whispering "we've got her Daniel" -- what the heck about Daniel makes her think he'd approve of this?! Yeesh. :P (Side note: LOVED Regina's wedding dress!)

So wrapping up...just when Emma thinks things couldn't be worse for Mary Margaret, Gold urges her to "keep the faith" -- and this is a relief because Rumple may be morally ambiguous but dangit at least he's got a sympathetic backstory!!! Emma loses it at that point and breaks the vase containing Sidney's flowers, which SURPRISE SURPRISE contains a surveillance bug!! The puzzle pieces start falling into place, leading Emma to apologize to August, which makes me ridiculously happy. And then that magic Mr. Gold mentioned happens -- Ruby (Meghan Ory) starts screaming about finding someone in the alley behind the diner -- and lo and behold it's Kathryn (Anastasia Griffith). Is she crazy now? I'm seriously hoping her time in the woods doesn't mean she was somehow programmed to blame Mary Margaret for the wreck...can't wait to see how this plays out, because after the conversation in the jail when Regina admitted she knew Mary Margaret didn't kill Kathryn, and she DIDN'T CARE, I have to think she is going to be ticked when she shows back up. Can. Not. WAIT. :)

Once Upon a Time 1.16: "Heart of Darkness"

This episode of Once Upon a Time took us back to the aftermath of Snow White's (Ginnifer Goodwin) failed attempt to stop Charming's (Josh Dallas) wedding to Abigail, leaving her so crushed and desperate she drinks Rumplestiltskin's potion, wiping out all memories of her lost love. Of course Snow COULDN'T WAIT FIVE MINUTES for Grumpy's (Lee Arenberg) news that Charming bolted from the altar...and OF COURSE making a deal with the wily Rumple doesn't come without some unexpected side effects -- namely, losing the true sense of one's very self.

But we'll get back to Snow's shenanigans in a moment. First we must discuss what is quite possibly the best opening of an episode of all time -- I speak of the impossible, amazingly deflected arrow. Now the impossible shot is a favorite cinematic device of mine, because who doesn't love a carefully orchestrated moment of computer generated awesomeness like that? But Once isn't content with the impossible shot, they have Charming DEFLECT IT WITH HIS SWORD. I could watch Charming be that amazing ALL DAY, I kid you not. :) Anyways, the shot in question is from Charming's evil faux father's lackeys (King George just will NOT SAY DIE!). Apparently Charming has still been hanging out with Red (Meghan Ory) -- good thing I like you, Red, just sayin'! -- so this is also after Red gets the little bomb dropped on her that she turns into a wolf and EATS PEOPLE. She seems to have come to terms with her dual nature, though, as she sends Charming on his way after Snow, buying him some time by transforming into a wolf and attacking the soldiers (which raises the question, is she somehow self-aware in her wolf state now? just wondering...). Like I said, AWESOME opening, right?! :)

Cut to Storybrooke, and Emma (Jennifer Morrison) is taking Mary Margaret's MUG SHOT!! Mary is such a prim schoolteacher type the idea of murder is, of course, patently ridiculous -- but Emma has to follow the evidence or else she'll face ousting on charges of favoritism, and of course that wouldn't be helpful. So the mug shot is setting up the idea of Mary Margaret's guilt as a ridiculous concept -- or IS IT?? Because back in Fairy Tale Land we're treated to a glimpse of Snow, looking every inch the fairest of them all, humming a classic song and appearing to bond with a bird. All is sweetness and light until she tries to whack the bird with her broom -- and people that is yet another reason why I love this show. Turn some of the traditional fairy tale tropes on their heads! :)

Enter Grumpy, who leads Snow right into a dwarf-initiated INTERVENTION headed by none other than Jiminy Cricket (Raphael Sbarge)! It has been way too long since we've seen much of Jiminy or his Storybrooke counterpart, so this is a nice development, even if Snow is having none of her friends' concern. The formerly kind-hearted princess is hell-bent on alienating everyone who would call themselves her friend -- and what's supposed to be an intervention helping her recognize that Rumple's potion fundamentally changed her turns into something else entirely as Snow decides that all of her problems will be solved if she kills the Evil Queen. Yikes!

Back at the Sheriff's office, Emma prepares to interview Mary Margaret officially and all, and this raises a couple of questions -- like what in her bounty-hunting background qualifies her to be Sheriff? (I miss Graham.) And two, I have not seen a tape recorder like that since the early '90s. Really that is the best technology that Storybrooke law enforcement has to work with?! *sadness* Regina (Lana Parrilla) helpfully decides to sit in on the interrogation (ha!). When Emma brings out the box that held the heart Ruby discovered, there's a nice little shock because it is really Mary Margaret's jewellery box! *GASP* Okay I can buy this, but how can she not have realized that her jewellery box has been missing since before or shortly after Kathryn's disappearance (of course we know why there's no signs of a break-in -- Regina's creepy skull keys!)?! Regina tries to act all empathetic and nice (gag), because after all a broken heart can make a person do "unspeakable things" (methinks she speaks from experience).

In FTL Snow is all gung-ho about her plot to ambush the Queen en route to her summer palace, and this chick means business since she hijacks a lost knight and threatens to lay into him with a PICK AXE if he doesn't answer her questions. After she knocks him unconscious, Grumpy shows up (so he's a tracker too?) and insists that they revisit the Rumple issue -- perhaps he has a potion that can reverse damage losing the memories of her love for Charming did to her personality. For the convenience of the plot, Snow agrees --

Meanwhile, Emma and Henry (Jared Gilmore) are searching the apartment for signs of a break-in that will back up Mary Margaret's story that her jewellery box was stolen. Instead they find a GIGANTIC KNIFE in a floor vent! Henry is bummed because it looks like is grandmother is going to take a murder rap, which sends him moping to the diner where August (Eion Bailey) attempts to cheer him up. HAVE I MENTIONED LATELY THAT I LOVE THE NAME AUGUST? He suggests the answers Henry seeks may be in his precious storybook, which shocks Henry because here is an ADULT PERSON APPEARING TO VALIDATE OPERATION COBRA! This show is getting really good at slowly parsing out information about the erstwhile Stranger, because while it is a huge deal that he would actually affirm the storybook-as-history concept, we still have no idea why or how he came by the knowledge (the suspense is killing me!). Anyways this cheers Henry right up so he dives into the storybook (I want to read this book cover-to-cover so badly). 

David gets a momentary flash of Charming's awesomeness when he storms into Regina's office, insistent that Mary Margaret couldn't have had anything to do with Kathryn's likely murder. I nearly gag as Regina attempts to be all comforting and reasonable, launching into the age-old debate on the origins of evil -- it "isn't born, it's made" (well I have news for you, Regina, I STILL DON'T CARE if you used to be nice because you are the SHREW THAT GROUND GRAHAM'S HEART TO DUST!). She then blathers on about how "evil doesn't always look evil," and because David's biggest Storybrooke downfall is being RIDDLED WITH SELF-DOUBT her carefully placed words hit home. David decides to go see Archie, hoping that some hypnosis sessions will help him remember what he's done during his blackout periods (more on that in a sec).

At the jail, Emma is saddled with the unenviable task of advising Mary Margaret to get a lawyer when *BOOM* Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle) walks in and offers his services -- OF COURSE HE'S A LAWYER TOO! Gah! I love this! Mary is getting pretty desperate so she agrees over Emma's objections. When she tells Gold she can't afford to pay him he surprisingly demurs, saying he'll take on the case for free because he's "invested in her future" (I AM DYING TO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!).

In FTL, Grumpy and Snow have finally made it to Rumple's digs, where he drops the unfortunate news that there's no potion available that can restore Snow's niceness (so he helpfully provides her with a magic bow so she can kill the Queen). This hearkens back to earlier talk in the season about the soul-crushing price of magic, something we've seen over and over, particularly in Regina's desperate attempts to hold onto Henry's affection. The only cure is of course true love (which hasn't been bottled -- yet). After Rumple insists that the bow represents his "investment" in Snow's future, she takes off to kill the Queen and Grumpy presumably overtaxed with all of this patience and forbearance that he's had to practice in her presence heads home.

Now this, people, this is where this episode becomes pure awesome. There's been more of a focus on Storybrooke David, and with that comes a whole lot of wishy-washyness so a person could be tempted to forget just how fantastic Charming is in FTL -- and he's on fire here. :) First he braves Rumple's wiles, consequences be damned of making a deal with the green one because HE HAS TO SAVE SNOW FROM HERSELF. In an interesting twist, all Rumple demands as payment for a map to Snow's sniper location is Charming's cloak, from which he later removes a stray hair -- and combining that with the earlier hair he extracted from Snow as payment for the forgetful potion, the man has bottled true love. The question of course remains what the heck will he do with it?!

Fast forward a few hours (?) and Charming sneaks up on Snow and kisses her, sure that true love's kiss will magically restore her memories. Sadly that idea tanks and it appears Snow might succeed with her assassination attempt, but Jiminy (who really gets around) has freed the Prince and given him a valuable piece of advice -- Snow didn't only lose her memories of their love, she lost all memory of who she is at a very fundamental level. So just when we think Snow's arrow may hit its mark, Charming jumps in its path and at this point I'm ready to scream YES!!! Because if he's not fighting with a sword or horse, taking an arrow in the shoulder for his one true love is the next best thing. :) When Charming tells Snow he'd rather die for her than see her heart filled with darkness (shout-out to Joseph Conrad!), I absolutely melted into a puddle of goo. As Charming, Dallas is in the running for best film prince portrayal of all time. ALL TIME!

Charming's faith, his willingness to sacrifice his life for Snow's, that is the true love magic that brings Snow back. And just when I think (hope) that this adorable couple may have bought themselves five minutes of happiness in FTL, evil King George's men ride up and throw Charming in a paddywagon (boo!! hiss!!!), leaving Snow to co-opt Charming's declaration that she will always find him. GOSH I LOVE THESE CRAZY KIDS! So while Snow may be without Charming in FTL, now that she's nice again the dwarves vow to help her get him back. But in Storybrooke, things are not going so well for the ill-fated pair. David's hypnosis session with Archie has unearthed memories of evil Snow vowing to kill "her," memories hazy enough that David "assumes" they occurred in the present, not in an alternate reality (guess I should cut him some slack on that score). Riddled with doubts he once again CRUSHES Mary Margaret's faith the fact that there is any hope for their future (STUPID BOY), leaving her just desperate enough to use the skeleton key she found conveniently hidden in her jail mattress to break out (question -- key planted there by Regina or Mr. Gold?).

Henry's research has somehow led to him discovering Regina's ring of skull keys, which provides the concrete proof Emma needs to realize that Regina is somehow, for some reason, setting Mary Margaret up. THIS IS PROGRESS! She's so ticked she goes to Mr. Gold for help (YAY), because desperate times call for desperate measures. I may be delusional but I rather think Mr. Gold likes Emma -- and knowing he's no where near as heartless as he'd have us believe, I'm hopeful for a lot of Mr. Gold-related awesomeness in the near future. :) A pretty solid episode, great for picture opportunities, no? :)

Once Upon a Time 1.15: "Red-Handed"

This episode of Once Upon a Time was simply awesome. I mean flippin' fantastic. The show managed to take what is probably my least favorite fairy tale of all time and turn it completely on its head -- and goodness knows I love a well-executed twist on a classic. :) Plus, it didn't hurt that after dancing around the subject for FOURTEEN episodes, we finally, FINALLY get Ruby's Fairy Tale Land backstory as Red, and welcome layers of character depth shade Ruby's Storybrooke self with much-needed layers of sympathy and interest.

The episode opens with Emma (Jennifer Morrison) questioning a quite frankly flabbergasted David (Josh Dallas) at the Sheriff's office about the missing Kathryn. David, this curse has done you no favors because your Storybrooke self is S-L-O-W on the uptake. *sigh* She's pretty sure he's not guilty, which I'm pretty sure is a fair assessment because David, bless his heart, just doesn't act like he's got it together enough to plot a murder. Over at Granny's Diner, Ruby (Meghan Ory) is getting all flirty with August (Eion Bailey) -- BACK OFF, he belongs to Emma! -- and is completely enamoured with his travel stories about Nepal and lemurs (REALLY?? lemurs???). Granny (Beverley Elliott) is having NONE of this, she wants her granddaughter to GROW UP and WORK WEEKENDS and start MINDING THE BOOKS. Ruby is having none of that and after making a crack likening Granny to Norman Bates (which I thought was hilarious) she quits and storms out.

In Fairy Tale Land, we're introduced to this rather adorable looking woodsy type named Peter (Jesse Hutch) who apparently has this thing for Red, but Granny (surprise, surprise) does not approve. While the show has given us glimpses into Red's FTL character before, this episode drives home the stark differences between Red and Ruby -- Red is all sweetness and light and spunk compared to what we've seen of Ruby, who has been moody and sullen ALL THE TIME (when she isn't acting slutty that is). Before Red can make any crazy promises to run away with Peter, Granny calls her to their cabin's front door, where she's attempting to dissuade bunch of gung-ho townsmen from hunting a killer wolf. Granny clearly takes this wolf threat seriously, sending Red to bed with an injunction to wear her cloak ("because red repels wolves"?? really??) and settles in to wach their heavily-barred front door with a crossbow. Granny is a badass.

The next morning apparently all is well because Granny is still alive & kicking and the cottage door hasn't been smashed in. Red goes out to check on the family chickens and discovers Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) hiding in the hay from "something monstrous" out in the snow (so this is how they become friends). Red explains that it's just the big-as-a-horse wolf who is on the prowl (like wouldn't you be more concerned that wolves that large would BREED?? I digress...). On the way back to the cottage the pair stops to draw some water, and discovers a well full of blood (how did THAT happen?) and the mutilated bodes of last night's hunting party. This is pretty hardcore violence for this show, hmm?

Back in Storybrooke, Mary Margaret is in full-on "stand by her man" mode, but can't really offer Emma much in the way of meaningful assistance other than that they weren't together the night of Kathryn's disappearance. They come upon Ruby at the bus stop getting hit on by Dr. Whale (David Anders), who we haven't seen in a while -- and my first thought was "Whale is the wolf!" (I'm so gullible.) Mary Margaret offers to let Ruby crash with her & Emma for a few days while she figures things out (lucky for her, because otherwise I'm sure there would've been one heckuva bus crash as she tried to leave Storybrooke!).

Mary Margaret takes it upon herself to go hunting for Kathryn in the woods -- personally I think this would sorta make her look guilty, like she's trying to conceal evidence, but whatevs. She runs into David who now looks like he's been sleeping out there and the man is completely out of his head. Is it some sort of amnesia-related blackout?? Could Regina be drugging him?? Inquiring minds want to know!

So cut back to FTL for a little bit and Granny is attempting to convince the townspeople to let the wolf be, since back in the day another similar creature killed her father and seven brothers (that detail seems so random to me) in a bloodbath she witnessed as a child. Apparently this wolf couldn't kill her, though -- only nearly took her arm off, leaving her with gashing scars. Granny has a valid point, but Red doesn't care, she's just tired of the wolf being an excuse to keep her away from Peter. Snow, brilliant (*cough,cough*) Snow encourages this line of thinking, and then she's surprised when Red RUNS WITH IT and decides to track the wolf during the day while it is sleeping in his lair. Red has moxie and I love it. She proves surprisingly adept at tracking, and everything appears to be going their way until the tracks they're following transform from paw prints to half wolf, half boot -- and then all boot, tracks that lead STRAIGHT TO RED'S HOUSE. Of course this seems to point to Peter as the culprit, which is a bit of a buzzkill for young love, no? Snow agrees to masquerade as Red while Red attempts to stop her one true love from eating more townsmen -- though seriously they are not thinking this through, right? Because knowing what he is pre-transformation can't help him once the beast within takes over, right? I'm not feeling like werewolves are particularly sentient when it comes to human emotion but I'm open to being proven wrong. But Peter buys it and lets Red chain him to a tree and they VOW TO MAKE IT WORK. Oh those crazy kids...

At the Sheriff's office Henry (Jared Gilmore) is trying to help Ruby find a job, and does anyone besides me think it is funny how many courier positions are open in Storybrooke? I like Henry trying to help Ruby, for a young kid he seems so grounded by comparison. :) After answering a couple of non-emergency phone calls Ruby sort of falls into the position of department assistant, which at first turns out to be not much better than waitressing, when Emma asks her to go to Granny's Diner to pick up some lunch. However, showing a glimmer of the backbone we've seen in FTL, Ruby refuses to let her circumstances cow her. After Mary Margaret comes to the station whigging out about David acting all spacey in the woods, Henry tells mama Emma that Ruby is Little Red Riding Hood and that Emma should let her "do more."* Well Emma listens, and Ruby seems to have a sixth sense for navigating the woods because she finds David LYING IN A DITCH (I can't take David in a ditch, it's so WRONG!).

Later at the hospital Dr. Whale (seriously is he the only doctor in this town?) gives David the okay but drops the little bomb that he could be acting out during his blackout phases and NOT REMEMBER A THING. Regina (Lana Parrilla) then shows up and is all up in arms about Emma not reading David his rights (whatever!). Whale is SO IN LEAGUE with Regina it isn't even funny...the only question remains, what is his FTL identity? I want it to be a good one. Anyways, Emma remembers I HAVE AN ASSISTANT! and sends a reluctant Ruby to the toll bridge to to look for clues. Ruby follows her instincts and unearths a box containing -- wait for it -- a HUMAN HEART. As Emma tells her later, whatever she decides to do with her life she's more than capable (see, this episode is really all about Ruby SEEKING AFFIRMATION!).

Back in FTL, and Peter is chained to a tree screaming at an advancing wolf. Granny discovers Snow & Red's deception and attempts to fly to the rescue, along the way dropping the little bomb that RED IS THE WOLF!!! Apparently Red's mother was a wolf too, and Granny's managed to keep this knowledge from Red even though Red's been "turning" since she was thirteen years old (the red cloak is enchanted, preventing her from turning, which is why she's so insistent Red wear it ALL THE TIME). This raises all sorts of questions like, how did Red sneak out of the house the night the first hunting party was massacred without Granny knowing? Granny is apparently not the smartest watchwoman on the planet. Also, if Granny was turned by Red's grandfather (tell me if I'm remembering this incorrectly), does that mean werewolves aren't born, they're made like vampires? WHO KNEW? And then this becomes what may be Once's most tragic story yet, love done to death by a MAN-EATING WOLF. So now Red has to live with the knowledge that she's killer wolf, and she and Snow disappear into the night. It's all very dramatic, no? 

*I'm wondering if Henry's book includes the knowledge that Red is a wolf. Because I would hope that would at least give Henry pause when throwing around Ruby's fairy tale antecedents, know what I mean?

So after this little bomb the denouement in Storybrooke feels a bit hum-drum by comparison. Ruby decides she isn't cut out for sheriffing, and asks Granny for her job back. Turns out Granny's gruff demeanor masks a heart of gold, as she really just wants to train Ruby to take over the Diner, looking toward the day when she'll retire. Ruby and Granny make nice and ALL IS WELL, for now, anyway. Loved how this episode finally, finally gave me a reason to look past Ruby's previously (and mostly) annoying Storybrooke demeanor and to really care about her as an individual just in search of her own purpose and place in the world.

Cut to David and Mary Margaret -- now that Ruby found a friggin' HEART in the woods, Kathryn's disappearance is looking more and more like a murder investigation. Emma interrupts the guilt-ridden lovebirds hanging out at the animal shelter with the news that a fingerprint was found inside the box containing the heart, and SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKERS it belongs to the demure Mary Margaret! (I still don't think Kathryn is dead -- if in fact this is actually Kathryn's heart, I'm thinking it is part of Regina's heart stash -- possibly pointing to the threat that when she cast the curse she came into possession of everyone's hearts? Ick!) 

Now that we've touched on all of these wonderful, heart-warming personal growth issues for Ruby and appreciated the brilliance of the twist the writers applied to Red's traditional story, let's address the remaining critical question. Since Red RIPPED THE THROAT out of her love interest in FTL, it is safe to say we won't be seeing Peter again (*sobs*). Ruby needs a love interest -- I'd love to hear your ideas for likely candidates! :) 

The above is another gorgeous image I recently added to my Once Pinboard (click through for source). Don't you just love it? Very Snow White and Rose Red (well, almost Rose Red).

Once Upon a Time 1.13: "What Happened to Frederick"

This was an interesting episode of Once Upon a Time because it finally gave me a reason to see Kathryn as more than the Storybrooke curse's annoying obstacle to David and Mary Margaret's long-term happiness. From the moment we were first introduced to Midas's daughter Abigail (Anastasia Griffith) in Fairy Tale Land, I took an instant dislike to her -- she was so, so very cold. Turns out there's a reason for that, hmm? :) This episode opens shortly after Charming (Josh Dallas) has ditched his forced engagement to Abigail and is on the run from his faux-father (Alan Dale), in search of Snow White. First of all, WHY ON EARTH is Charming wearing a scarf/shawl/table cloth around his neck? Is this supposed to be a disguise? I mean REALLY??? Lame. Ditch the plush cloak first. :P I don't need Charming trying (and failing) to wear shawls and thus distracting from his FTL awesomeness. That aside, there's lots of Charming on horseback here which is always a win until he's trapped by random soldiers who, it turns out, work for Abigail. News flash: SHE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU. Like, AT ALL. Yay!

This is obviously a huge relief for Charming since it removes the biggest obstacle to his happiness with Snow (except for the whole her claiming not to love him to save him thing). Of course he has to know WHY she wants to help him escape his crazy fake father (he is a guy, after all *wink*), and Abigail explains that she hopes by helping him find happiness with his one true love that she can gain some consolation from having lost hers. She was in love with a knight named Frederick who was turned to GOLD while defending her father (we all knew this was going to be a problem when Midas was introduced, right?). Charming's all like LET ME FIX THIS because he is so RELIEVED she doesn't want to marry him, and she's all well if you get me this magic water Freddy will return to me, but there's a problem -- you have to get past the Lady of the Lake and she LIKES TO KILL PEOPLE (the L of the L of Arthurian legend fame is rolling over in her watery grave). Anyways, this is awesome because if you're like me you instinctively realize that Charming is GOOD AT QUESTING -- 1) he looks good on a horse 2) he can wield a sword and 3) I MELT INTO A PUDDLE OF GOO every time he looks at Snow. WIN.

Back in Storybrooke, David is still slogging through his marriage to Kathryn AND carryong on with Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) on the side because apparently the curse made him all wishy-washy and he lost his ability to be DECISIVE. *sigh* Mary Margaret upps the pressure to come clean about the whole thing so everyone can move on with their lives, and that he has to make a choice -- David agrees because little does Mary know, Kathryn wants him to move to Boston with her so they can try the whole fresh start in a new town thing. OH THE PRESSURE. At the last minute poor David caves, and only tells Kathryn he won't leave with her and they just "can't connect." She's devastated because she's forgotten the whole Freddy factor, and goes running to her B.F.F. (little does she know) Regina (Lana Parrilla), who spills the beans about David's affair with Mary Margaret (of course it is ALL Mary's fault, like David had nothing to do with it *sigh*).

Back in FTL, Charming meets the infamous Lady of the Lake/Siren (Aria Pullman), and boy does she have him pegged -- promising she can be his true love, and transforming into Snow White. The ruse almost works -- but I guess the whole point of this excerise to drive home the point that Charming can recognize true love because he's experienced it with Snow -- and NO FAKES are going to cut it. This guy has it in him to go the distance -- I need to remember that when I want to smack some sense into his Storybrooke self. So witchy siren tries to kill him, and he stabs her, and it's all very exciting and I'm thinking "ooohh, UNDERWATER SCENES...wonder what they are gonna do when Ariel is introduced?" Needless to say Charming's water works on Freddy, and Abigail is ecstatic -- so we know she has a happy ending out there somewhere (if E.Queen doesn't CRUSH IT first!).

Back in Storybrooke Kathryn goes postal all over Mary Margaret for breaking up her miserable marriage, and Mary is devasted when she realizes that David didn't have the guts to tell Kathryn the truth about why he wants to leave her. Once Kathryn cools down, though, she starts to flex her own muscles against the curse, realizing that she wants to be loved for herself because clearly, CLEARLY David is over the moon for Mary Margaret (girl, I HEAR you...the LOOKS he gives her kill me too). She leaves him a letter setting him free and resolves to go to Boston to attend law school and OF COURSE SHE HAS TO TELL HER ONLY FRIEND REGINA EVERTHING. *sigh* Regina of course burns said letter (probably muttering curses all the while -- and how creepy were her skull keys to every house in Storybrooke?!), so we know this is not going to end well, right... *double sigh*

Meanwhile things are finally starting to get really interesting as far as The Stranger (Eion Bailey) is concerned. First of all, his real name is August W. Booth. AUGUST. I love that. He finagles an agreement to take Emma (Jennifer Morrison) for a drink, which is not at ALL what you expect -- he takes her to a WISHING WELL where he gives her this whole speech about the water being magical and if you drink it something lost will be found (EEEP!!! So many possibilities!). When he's not flirting with Emma (I LOVE THEIR SCENES by the way) he's rebinding Henry's missing book -- and after this episode aired it was confirmed that he's adding pages. This seems to support my theory that he's the book's author -- but I've also been wondering, do you think it's possible he could be Rumple's missing son? Just throwing that out there (mainly because I want more Mr. Gold-centric storylines!). :)

Conveniently enough Emma discovers Henry's freshly rebound book shortly after her "date" with August -- and Henry (Jared Gilmore) is thrilled to have it returned to him. (Side note: I died inside a little when Regina gave him a friggin' VIDEO GAME as a replacement for his book, ergh!! This kid is a born reader if ever there was one!) I cannot wait to see how the show peels back the layers of August's character and his true purpose in Storybrooke -- the slow pace is maddening but the sparks between him & Emma, oh it makes the wait worthwhile. :)

ANYWAYS...wrapping things up here...poor Mary Margaret has been branded the town tramp. And seriously I love how everyone is giving her the cold shoulder and David seems strangely ignored. But whatevs...she finds David trying to remove graffitti from her car and rips him over the coals for not being forthright as he'd promised with Kathryn. This is yet another opportunity for Dallas to EMOTE and he does it so well -- and when Mary Margaret tells him they have no future together he cries. HE CRIES, PEOPLE! I seriously can barely handle it. *sobs*

BUT THERE'S HOPE, because back in FTL Charming is back on his horse, riding through the woods, yelling his head off for Snow. THIS IS COMMITMENT, PEOPLE. He runs into Red (Meghan Ory) who drops the surprise that she refused him to save his life, and he gives the whole "I'll find her, I'll ALWAYS FIND HER" speech which is so cliched but oh so INSPIRING when it's said with conviction like Dallas lends the lines. Excuse me while I swoon. :)

Back in Storybrooke, the episode ends with the high school gym teacher (Greyston Holt) discovering Kathryn's car...probably drawn there because he looks a heckuvalot like Freddy the former Gold Knight. Question: do we think Kathryn is dead, or has Regina spirited her off to some hidden prison? We're only on episode 13 of season one, personally I don't think we need to start killing characters off willy-nilly. Thoughts?

BONUS PICTURE OF CHARMING QUESTING:

BONUS PICTURE OF AUGUST LOOKING ADORABLE:

You're welcome. :)

Once Upon a Time 1.11: "Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"

In my never-ending quest (ha!) to catch up on reviewing Once Upon a Time episodes, we come to episode 11, which introduces us to the backstory of Regina's lackey Sidney Glass (Giancarlo Esposito), the Magic Mirror of the Fairy Tale world. For a multitude of reasons which I shall touch on shortly, this ranks as one of my least favorite episodes of Once's debut season. 

The episode opens with Henry (Jared Gilmore) heart-broken upon discovering that the recent storm has damaged his "castle"/playground, the special place he and Emma (Jennifer Morrison) meet to discuss "Operation Cobra." The castle has been his hiding place of choice for the storybook (which begs the question, why does he even bother to hide it? I've lost track of the number of times Regina could've confiscated it earlier in the season...). Regina (Lana Parrilla) goes all mama bear on Emma for letting Henry near the rickety playground because it is a safety hazard, which gets Emma all whiny about Regina giving her a hard time over her relationship with Henry. The whininess is not attractive Emma, just sayin'...

So we're supposed to believe, I suppose, that this confrontation with Regina has put Emma in a particularly vulnerable place, causing her to lose all semblance of COMMON SENSE. Case in point: Sidney approaches Emma, claiming to want revenge on Regina for being embarrassed in the recent sheriff election. Ahem. Cue a Fairy Tale Land flashback, where we discover that Sidney was not just the magic mirror of legend, but prior to that he was actually the Genie of Agrabah (the Aladdin shout-out cracked me up). Did not see that coming (I hope this doesn't mean that we won't see Aladdin and Jasmine at some point, since this whole show really is a live-action Disney film). King Leopold (Richard Schiff), Snow White's father, is the most recent individual to set the Genie free -- but instead of using his three allotted wishes for personal gain, he basically wishes them back on the Genie because he's all giving and selfless like that (this isn't going to end well, we all know that right?). The Genie is ecstatic and vows to use his newfound freedom to find true love. Leopold, being the perfect host, takes the Genie home where he soon starts making eyes at Leopold's wife, the Evil Queen in her pre-EQ days.  

So, to make a long story short, the Queen starts using the Genie's feelings for her as an excuse to vent about the loveless state of her marriage, which gets the Genie to thinking that maybe, just maybe he could be this clearly CLEARLY victimized woman's savior. He goes on to give her a mirror so she can see herself through his eyes, i.e. be-yoo-tiful. The suggestion that the Queen possibly used to be less than evil is reinforced in Storybrooke, when Sidney tells Emma he's discovered proof that Regina is an embezzler and that he used to think she was a different person. Emma is all over this -- for the first time she's got an ally who wants to take Regina down a peg or two as much as she does, so she loses all sense of reason and decides illegal surveillance. Emma this is NOT GOING TO END WELL.

To make a long story a bit shorter, back in Fairy Tale Land the Leopold has discovered that his wife's heart may be straying and commissions the Genie to discover the interloper (awkward). Henry (Tony Perez), the Queen's ill-fated father, asks the Genie to deliver a box to his daughter to set her free or some crap like that, which turns out to contain an AGRABAH VIPER. Considering how much of humanity the Genie has to have seen over the course of his life, he is extraordinarily stupid. Rather than see his one true LUVVV commit suicide he suggests they use the viper to kill the king. Of course once the deed is done the Queen shows her true colors yet again and throws the Genie under the proverbial bus. Heartbroken the Genie uses his last wish to be with her always -- which sends him into the Queen's mirror. ALL OF THIS AND HE STILL LOVES HER, IN FAIRY TALE LAND AND STORYBROOKE. Dumbest character EVER.

Back in Storybrooke Emma takes the intel she and Sidney collected on Regina's supposedly shady land deal with Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle) and outs it all in a very dramatic fashion at a city council meeting. This OF COURSE backfires on Emma (insert axiom about fruit of the poisonous tree here) -- Regina is building a spectacular play house so all of Storybrooke's children will have a safe place to recreate. (Oh, I almost forgot...in the midst of Regina's teardown of the old castle, Henry's storybrook goes missing.) And the icing on the cake? -- Emma can no longer see Henry until Regina says so (ouch). Emma's lost the moral high ground, and the thing that bugs me about this episode is seeing her lose it in such a stupid fashion. I suppose one could argue her love for Henry blinded her to Regina's machinations, but STILL...I didn't like seeing Emma being this foolhardy.

A few quick notes on some of the other major players -- Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) and David (Josh Dallas) are deliriously happy together but he's still not made a clean break with Kathryn, so mum's the word there. The Stranger (Eion Bailey) is still being extremely secretive about the real reason he's come to Storybrooke -- as per usual Henry is spot-on correct in his assertion that no one could come to Storybrooke without a reason, without a connection to his missing storybook. In an intriguing development, it's revealed that the Stranger has the storybook, not Regina as I'd first assumed when it went missing. The question is, why did he take it and what is he going to do with it? AND WHO IS HE, REALLY?

Though most of this episode left me decidedly lukewarm, I'd love to hear your thoughts!