Once Upon a Time 1.16: "Heart of Darkness"

This episode of Once Upon a Time took us back to the aftermath of Snow White's (Ginnifer Goodwin) failed attempt to stop Charming's (Josh Dallas) wedding to Abigail, leaving her so crushed and desperate she drinks Rumplestiltskin's potion, wiping out all memories of her lost love. Of course Snow COULDN'T WAIT FIVE MINUTES for Grumpy's (Lee Arenberg) news that Charming bolted from the altar...and OF COURSE making a deal with the wily Rumple doesn't come without some unexpected side effects -- namely, losing the true sense of one's very self.

But we'll get back to Snow's shenanigans in a moment. First we must discuss what is quite possibly the best opening of an episode of all time -- I speak of the impossible, amazingly deflected arrow. Now the impossible shot is a favorite cinematic device of mine, because who doesn't love a carefully orchestrated moment of computer generated awesomeness like that? But Once isn't content with the impossible shot, they have Charming DEFLECT IT WITH HIS SWORD. I could watch Charming be that amazing ALL DAY, I kid you not. :) Anyways, the shot in question is from Charming's evil faux father's lackeys (King George just will NOT SAY DIE!). Apparently Charming has still been hanging out with Red (Meghan Ory) -- good thing I like you, Red, just sayin'! -- so this is also after Red gets the little bomb dropped on her that she turns into a wolf and EATS PEOPLE. She seems to have come to terms with her dual nature, though, as she sends Charming on his way after Snow, buying him some time by transforming into a wolf and attacking the soldiers (which raises the question, is she somehow self-aware in her wolf state now? just wondering...). Like I said, AWESOME opening, right?! :)

Cut to Storybrooke, and Emma (Jennifer Morrison) is taking Mary Margaret's MUG SHOT!! Mary is such a prim schoolteacher type the idea of murder is, of course, patently ridiculous -- but Emma has to follow the evidence or else she'll face ousting on charges of favoritism, and of course that wouldn't be helpful. So the mug shot is setting up the idea of Mary Margaret's guilt as a ridiculous concept -- or IS IT?? Because back in Fairy Tale Land we're treated to a glimpse of Snow, looking every inch the fairest of them all, humming a classic song and appearing to bond with a bird. All is sweetness and light until she tries to whack the bird with her broom -- and people that is yet another reason why I love this show. Turn some of the traditional fairy tale tropes on their heads! :)

Enter Grumpy, who leads Snow right into a dwarf-initiated INTERVENTION headed by none other than Jiminy Cricket (Raphael Sbarge)! It has been way too long since we've seen much of Jiminy or his Storybrooke counterpart, so this is a nice development, even if Snow is having none of her friends' concern. The formerly kind-hearted princess is hell-bent on alienating everyone who would call themselves her friend -- and what's supposed to be an intervention helping her recognize that Rumple's potion fundamentally changed her turns into something else entirely as Snow decides that all of her problems will be solved if she kills the Evil Queen. Yikes!

Back at the Sheriff's office, Emma prepares to interview Mary Margaret officially and all, and this raises a couple of questions -- like what in her bounty-hunting background qualifies her to be Sheriff? (I miss Graham.) And two, I have not seen a tape recorder like that since the early '90s. Really that is the best technology that Storybrooke law enforcement has to work with?! *sadness* Regina (Lana Parrilla) helpfully decides to sit in on the interrogation (ha!). When Emma brings out the box that held the heart Ruby discovered, there's a nice little shock because it is really Mary Margaret's jewellery box! *GASP* Okay I can buy this, but how can she not have realized that her jewellery box has been missing since before or shortly after Kathryn's disappearance (of course we know why there's no signs of a break-in -- Regina's creepy skull keys!)?! Regina tries to act all empathetic and nice (gag), because after all a broken heart can make a person do "unspeakable things" (methinks she speaks from experience).

In FTL Snow is all gung-ho about her plot to ambush the Queen en route to her summer palace, and this chick means business since she hijacks a lost knight and threatens to lay into him with a PICK AXE if he doesn't answer her questions. After she knocks him unconscious, Grumpy shows up (so he's a tracker too?) and insists that they revisit the Rumple issue -- perhaps he has a potion that can reverse damage losing the memories of her love for Charming did to her personality. For the convenience of the plot, Snow agrees --

Meanwhile, Emma and Henry (Jared Gilmore) are searching the apartment for signs of a break-in that will back up Mary Margaret's story that her jewellery box was stolen. Instead they find a GIGANTIC KNIFE in a floor vent! Henry is bummed because it looks like is grandmother is going to take a murder rap, which sends him moping to the diner where August (Eion Bailey) attempts to cheer him up. HAVE I MENTIONED LATELY THAT I LOVE THE NAME AUGUST? He suggests the answers Henry seeks may be in his precious storybook, which shocks Henry because here is an ADULT PERSON APPEARING TO VALIDATE OPERATION COBRA! This show is getting really good at slowly parsing out information about the erstwhile Stranger, because while it is a huge deal that he would actually affirm the storybook-as-history concept, we still have no idea why or how he came by the knowledge (the suspense is killing me!). Anyways this cheers Henry right up so he dives into the storybook (I want to read this book cover-to-cover so badly). 

David gets a momentary flash of Charming's awesomeness when he storms into Regina's office, insistent that Mary Margaret couldn't have had anything to do with Kathryn's likely murder. I nearly gag as Regina attempts to be all comforting and reasonable, launching into the age-old debate on the origins of evil -- it "isn't born, it's made" (well I have news for you, Regina, I STILL DON'T CARE if you used to be nice because you are the SHREW THAT GROUND GRAHAM'S HEART TO DUST!). She then blathers on about how "evil doesn't always look evil," and because David's biggest Storybrooke downfall is being RIDDLED WITH SELF-DOUBT her carefully placed words hit home. David decides to go see Archie, hoping that some hypnosis sessions will help him remember what he's done during his blackout periods (more on that in a sec).

At the jail, Emma is saddled with the unenviable task of advising Mary Margaret to get a lawyer when *BOOM* Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle) walks in and offers his services -- OF COURSE HE'S A LAWYER TOO! Gah! I love this! Mary is getting pretty desperate so she agrees over Emma's objections. When she tells Gold she can't afford to pay him he surprisingly demurs, saying he'll take on the case for free because he's "invested in her future" (I AM DYING TO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!).

In FTL, Grumpy and Snow have finally made it to Rumple's digs, where he drops the unfortunate news that there's no potion available that can restore Snow's niceness (so he helpfully provides her with a magic bow so she can kill the Queen). This hearkens back to earlier talk in the season about the soul-crushing price of magic, something we've seen over and over, particularly in Regina's desperate attempts to hold onto Henry's affection. The only cure is of course true love (which hasn't been bottled -- yet). After Rumple insists that the bow represents his "investment" in Snow's future, she takes off to kill the Queen and Grumpy presumably overtaxed with all of this patience and forbearance that he's had to practice in her presence heads home.

Now this, people, this is where this episode becomes pure awesome. There's been more of a focus on Storybrooke David, and with that comes a whole lot of wishy-washyness so a person could be tempted to forget just how fantastic Charming is in FTL -- and he's on fire here. :) First he braves Rumple's wiles, consequences be damned of making a deal with the green one because HE HAS TO SAVE SNOW FROM HERSELF. In an interesting twist, all Rumple demands as payment for a map to Snow's sniper location is Charming's cloak, from which he later removes a stray hair -- and combining that with the earlier hair he extracted from Snow as payment for the forgetful potion, the man has bottled true love. The question of course remains what the heck will he do with it?!

Fast forward a few hours (?) and Charming sneaks up on Snow and kisses her, sure that true love's kiss will magically restore her memories. Sadly that idea tanks and it appears Snow might succeed with her assassination attempt, but Jiminy (who really gets around) has freed the Prince and given him a valuable piece of advice -- Snow didn't only lose her memories of their love, she lost all memory of who she is at a very fundamental level. So just when we think Snow's arrow may hit its mark, Charming jumps in its path and at this point I'm ready to scream YES!!! Because if he's not fighting with a sword or horse, taking an arrow in the shoulder for his one true love is the next best thing. :) When Charming tells Snow he'd rather die for her than see her heart filled with darkness (shout-out to Joseph Conrad!), I absolutely melted into a puddle of goo. As Charming, Dallas is in the running for best film prince portrayal of all time. ALL TIME!

Charming's faith, his willingness to sacrifice his life for Snow's, that is the true love magic that brings Snow back. And just when I think (hope) that this adorable couple may have bought themselves five minutes of happiness in FTL, evil King George's men ride up and throw Charming in a paddywagon (boo!! hiss!!!), leaving Snow to co-opt Charming's declaration that she will always find him. GOSH I LOVE THESE CRAZY KIDS! So while Snow may be without Charming in FTL, now that she's nice again the dwarves vow to help her get him back. But in Storybrooke, things are not going so well for the ill-fated pair. David's hypnosis session with Archie has unearthed memories of evil Snow vowing to kill "her," memories hazy enough that David "assumes" they occurred in the present, not in an alternate reality (guess I should cut him some slack on that score). Riddled with doubts he once again CRUSHES Mary Margaret's faith the fact that there is any hope for their future (STUPID BOY), leaving her just desperate enough to use the skeleton key she found conveniently hidden in her jail mattress to break out (question -- key planted there by Regina or Mr. Gold?).

Henry's research has somehow led to him discovering Regina's ring of skull keys, which provides the concrete proof Emma needs to realize that Regina is somehow, for some reason, setting Mary Margaret up. THIS IS PROGRESS! She's so ticked she goes to Mr. Gold for help (YAY), because desperate times call for desperate measures. I may be delusional but I rather think Mr. Gold likes Emma -- and knowing he's no where near as heartless as he'd have us believe, I'm hopeful for a lot of Mr. Gold-related awesomeness in the near future. :) A pretty solid episode, great for picture opportunities, no? :)

Once Upon a Time 1.14: "Dreamy"

This episode of Once Upon a Time revealed the backstory of the surprisingly lovelorn dwarf Grumpy (Lee Arenberg), hinted at when he first met Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin) in prison when she was caught trying to break up Charming's wedding. Every love story in this show is SO SAD! Anyways...the episode opens in Fairy Tale Land, with the Blue Fairy (Keegan Connor Tracy) taking a pink fairy (who actually HAS A NAME) to task for being a klutz with some precious fairy dust (apparently its magic "powers the world" -- if that is the case, I'm thinking they need to cut off the Evil Queen's supply...just sayin'!). The pink fairy is named Nova (Amy Acker), a sweet and flighty dreamer who longs to be an official fairy godmother. So this brings up an interesting question -- if Nova is low fairy in the hierarchy, so to speak, why does she have a name and blue fairy is just "Blue"? Silly. So we have Nova the dreamer -- and some of her lost fairy dust falls through the ether and lands on an EGG in the dwarf mines, and out hatches Grumpy. This is a whole other issue much more disturbing than naming characters after colors -- why do dwarves hatch, fully grown?? This sorta creeps me out...

In Storybrooke we learn that Leroy, the Grumpy that was, has done a superlative job alienating his FTL dwarf friends, sadness. When Mary Margaret arrives at the diner in a mostly futile attempt to drum up volunteers for the upcoming Miner's Day festival, she gets so desperate she attempts to recruit Leroy. And he pulls out the HARLOT card (yes, apparently the dissolution of David and Kathryn's marriage is STILL all her fault). While attempting to buck up Mary Margaret's flagging spirits, Emma (Jennifer Morrison) gets a call -- a call that turns out to be the news about Kathryn's wrecked car. She heads out to investigate and Sidney (Giancarlo Esposito) shows up and offers to be all helpful (and Emma BUYS IT *headdesk*) and use his "contact" at the phone company to pull Kathryn's phone records. OF COURSE that contact turns out to be Regina (Lana Parrilla). *sigh*

Meanwhile, Leroy is stomping about the Miner's Day preparations and gets glitter spilled on his head by a nun named Astrid who turns out to be Nova. It is, of course, love at first sight. Which brings up a whole slew of other questions -- like what kind of nuns do former fairies make? And why nuns? And does Leroy have any idea who weird it is to watch him make googly eyes AT A NUN?! Did I mention Astrid is a NUN??? Weird. Those issues aside, Leroy and Astrid immediately click because that's what happens when FTL true loves meet in Storybrooke. She affirms his dream to sail around the world, and suddenly he decides that volunteering to sell the nuns' candles at the festival is the best idea ever. Of course people are going to buy stuff from Leroy, he's going to intimidate them into it, right? *wink*

Back in FTL, Grumpy-who-will-be is christened Dreamy by his special dwarf pick axe and gets the low-down on dwarf living --  no love, no women, no kids, just concentrate on mining the magic diamonds that are ground in to fairy dust that power the planet. Best part of this sequence? Dreamy and his dwarf brethren marching off to work whistling a familiar working song. :) So Dreamy does the whole mining thing for a while until one day the woman of his dreams, Nova, shows up to pick up a batch of freshly-ground fairy dust, and Dreamy has to save her from wasting dust TWICE ("my hero!"). Dreamy finds her klutziness adorable, and she drops a not-so-subtle hint that they should go "watch fireflies together." *wink,wink,nudge,nudge* This goes completely over Dreamy's head, so he gets all moody over dinner at the pub, and surprise, surprise, Belle (Emilie de Raven) is there to give him some advice -- he's in love. Now, while I loved seeing Belle in her iconic blue and white costume, I am sorta annoyed that her second appearance in the show felt somewhat wasted. I want Belle & Rumple scenes, dangit!! Belle's advice about being in love does raise an interesting question, though -- is this scene pre- or post- getting kicked out of the castle by Rumple? Thoughts?

In Storybrooke Leroy is all gung-ho to sell the nuns' candles which is apparently their only source of income. Thanks to Astrid's flightiness (ordering twelve dozen tanks of helium instead of just twelve -- why the heck do nuns need helium anyway?), the nuns are on the verge of being evicted by their landlord Mr. Gold (Robert Carlyle). Mirroring the friendship we've seen earlier in FTL, Leroy and Mary Margaret band together to SAVE THE NUNS! and try going door-to-door to sell candles, but that pesky harlot tag gets all the doors of Storybrooke slammed in their faces. But Leroy is all "never say die" and decides to sell Mr. Gold his boat for the rent money, only of course Mr. Gold is all "I can't stand nuns, let's kick 'em to the curb." (Big win here being Mr. Gold in a sharp suit, yay!) Leroy's at his wits' end when Astrid shows up with a pie to thank him for his help, and when the truth of the matter -- that not a single candle has been sold -- is revealed, it appears that Leroy and Astrid are farther than ever from reclaiming their happy ending (hello, we still have the NUN ISSUE).

Wrapping things up in FTL, Dreamy's decided to say to heck with a dwarf's life and sail the seven seas with Nova, until Bossy dwarf (Ken Kramer) plants doubts in his mind that dwarves are incapable of love, and then Blue shows up and drops the bomb that if Nova forsakes her calling she'll LOSE HER WINGS (I suppose that's better than disbelieving children making fairies drop dead, right?). Basically if you are part of either of these two groups, don't buck the system. *sadness* However, I've got to say it was a bit of a refreshing change to have a FTL romance hit the rocks thanks to someone other than the Evil Queen. After breaking the bad news to Nova, Dreamy returns to the mines with a new, harsher edge, breaking his first axe and getting rechristened with the name Grumpy by its replacement. GRUMPY NEEDS A HUG.

In Storybrooke Leroy and Mary Margaret are having a pity party until he has a moment of zen -- life shouldn't be about letting your failures or regrets define you, but instead about holding on to the good memories, and building from that. Leroy is all inspired to CARPE DIEM and takes a pick axe to a transformer, knocking out the power. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda cheered. I'm a total sucker for big moments like that. :) So now every one of those Storybrooke ingrates want to buy candles and in the blink of an eye Mary Margaret and Leroy sell out. THE NUNS ARE SAVED, because everyone decides to use candles instead of, you know, fixing the transformer. A grateful Astrid is all chummy and BFF-y with Leroy, and apparently CANDLES is the way back from the whole tramp stamp thing for Mary Margaret since Granny (Beverley Elliott) offers her OWN CANDLE so Mary Margaret can light hers (oh the symbolism!).

So all's well that ends well...almost. There's a suspicious phone call from David (Josh Dallas) to Kathryn the day of her disappearance (on the oh-so-conveniently provided phone records from Regina's lackey, Sidney), and Regina is all fake-worried-friend up in arms about Emma doing her job and not showing bias towards her roomie. Emma knows she must DO HER DUTY and goes to the festival to bring David in for questioning. The shock and horror of seeing Charming hauled off in the back of a police cruiser is BEYOND WORDS. Anyone not in Regina's camp has to know somebody's gonna get railroaded, right? *sigh*

On the whole I'm a little ambivalent about this episode. Grumpy and Nova were sweet but overall this ep felt more like filler than critical backstory. And the whole dwarves-hatching-from-eggs and fairies-turning-into-nuns thing kinda weirded me out. :P I did, however, like seeing Leroy and Mary Margaret take some tentative steps toward re-establishing their friendship in the Storybrooke world. Thoughts?